“The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone”  (Isaiah 9:2)

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”  (Hebrews 1:1)

Last Wednesday, I had to go to the hospital for one of those many many pre-op appointments that knee surgery people have.  This appointment was with anesthesia, and I knew it was just going to be a 5-minute conversation, but I also knew that it was a pretty important 5-minute conversation.  My appointment was scheduled for 9am, which was good, because I had a noon appointment in Perth, and this was Brockville.  I figured I’d do the 5-minute appointment, then trundle up to the church and work on my sermon (s) so that I could be a little ahead of things.  The instructions I had gotten from the hospital were to arrive 15 minutes before the scheduled appointment, and to register myself at Central Registration.  So, me being the keener that I am, I got to the hospital and Central Registration at 8:32.  I know that specifically because they have this electronic clock thingy when you ‘take your number’ for Central Registration like you’re waiting in line at a bakery.  I had number 51.  They were on number 32.  That meant there was a nineteen person wait before my turn.  No biggy.  There were 4 kiosks open at Central Registration, so, each clerk only needed to 4 or 5 people before I would be called.  And with 28 minutes before my appointment, that would mean that each person could have 7 minutes of the clerks time.  (Yup – you can see that I had a whole lot of time to do mental math!  And I’m pretty bad at mental math).

What I had neglected to factor in was that Brockville General Hospital had taken this week to switch over to a new patient charting system.  And this system? Apparently, there’s a huge learning curve and the staff are really struggling.  I sat playing Brickbreaker on my phone until 9:05, and then was finally called in by the clerk.  Registration took 12 minutes.  This was my seventh appointment at BGH in the month of December.  My registration had been done 6 times previously.

Ridiculous.

Regardless, I raced to the Outpatient clinic knowing I was already late by 17 minutes.  My instructions were to “take a seat, and the nurse will come and find you”.  I did.  I played Brickbreaker on my phone for 39 minutes.  The nurse called me in at 9:56. We spent a chipper 20 minutes with each other and she asked me to take a seat in the waiting area again until the doctor could see me.  If you’re keeping track of time, you’ll note that it was now 10:16 and bearing in mind that I needed to be in Perth at noon, I had 44 minutes before I had to get on the road.

And I waited.  I waited a least 10 more games of Brickbreaker.  I stopped clock watching because I was getting a little panicky and had to talk myself down with “Just apologize if you’re late, Lynne, this is not in your control”.  Finally, the doctor called me in for what was expected; a five-minute check-in.  As I was walking out, I casually said to the doctor “I’ll see you on January 9”, and he said “well, maybe.  There’s several of us here, and we can’t access our schedule on the new system yet.”.  And he looked. So. Stressed.

So, I said, “so what are you doing?  Just randomly showing up for work with the hope that you’re supposed to be there?” And he said, get this, “Pretty much”.  And again, looked. So. Stressed.

And then said “I’m assuming that by Jan. 9 we will know our schedule.  At least I’m hoping that”.

Hope.

We throw around the word ‘hope’ a lot this time of year.  It’s supposed to be something that’s easy, and that’s just ‘comes’ to us along with ‘tidings of comfort and joy’.  But hope is so elusive.  So tough to grab onto and it flits out of our fingers when our schedules and our plans go awry, or people make choices that we don’t understand.  We are told that hope comes in places that we can’t see ‘Light’ – in places where the way out isn’t obvious, and the schedule isn’t written out.

Hope is the hardest of Christmas sentiments.

But its also the bravest.

Hoping for things unseen; hoping for Goodness at a time when things seem so awful is radical and brave, especially when we are told that things happen only if we plan for them well or prepare ourselves properly.  Holding hope when there is no schedule or plan, believing in hope when there is no evidence or flow chart to predict the outcome is the most radical of faithful living.  To trust and believe that God is present in our world when we can’t predict a future of good things or even of good choices is the ultimate in acts of faith.

And you know – I will confess to a little loss of hope as I was sitting playing Brickbreaker in the various waiting rooms at Brockville General.  I had lost hope that I would be ‘on time’ to a meeting a noon in Perth.  And it was frustrating and annoying.

And also, incredibly silly.

Because that’s not hope.  That’s just an irritation of my own making.  It even wasn’t an issue of hopelessness that the Doctor didn’t know his January schedule.  But it is what we’ve reduced ‘hope’ to.  Hope instead of being a radical act of faith has been reduced to a self -righteous annoyance that things aren’t going exactly the way we wanted or expected.

I think its time we reclaimed Hope in all of is bravery and radicalness.  I think its time that we reminded ourselves that we are called as people to hope for God’s incarnation in this world.  God’s incarnation that reminds us that we all can together enact lives of justice and peace, grounded in Love and joy.

Let’s claim Hope my dear Bethel Friends.  It’s a big brave thing.  Its also our Faith.

Blessings today and remember you are loved.