So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples,  and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”  (John 8: 31,32)

I had a person in my life that I cared deeply for, that had built up their life like a house of cards.  They had told me about accomplishments that they never had, had built up relationships that they never enjoyed and developed a whole ‘back story’ to their life that had elements of truth to it but not in the way that they had suggested.

I’m a big truth person and usually can smell a lie a mile away, but I bought this person’s story, “hook, line and sinker” much to my embarrassment now.  Honestly, this person came into my life at a vulnerable time for me; I was on the threshold of making some massive life changes, was struggling with my own health issues and had recently had some important people to me die; one of them quite unexpectedly and was thrust into a conflict that was not of my making but was something that I was inextricably bound to.   I was lonely, grieving, and insecure, and this person came into my life with stories of accomplishment and relationships that seemed just so impressive and exciting.  I wanted a little relief from my life of difficulty and chaos, and they seemed to offer excitement and prestige.   I was happy being the ‘side kick’ for quite a while.  It seemed so much better than what I was facing in my own life.

I’m not sure when things finally came to light that this person was dishonest with me.  I do now that there was a point where I started to hear my ideas and my thoughts coming from their mouth, and I heard them taking full credit for thoughts that were mine.  At one point I ended up trying to confront them.  It didn’t work.  I waffled a ton because part of me still desperately wanted to believe that they were authentic and truthful with me.  I was grieving the loss of a relationship that I never actually had because it was a ghost person; amorphous, unreal.

To this day, I have no relationship with this person who loomed large in my life for quite a long time.  I don’t have a relationship with them because, frankly, I never had a relationship with them in the first place.  All I had was a relationship with an idea; not with someone authentic and whole.

I wonder about them occasionally, now.  What I have as fleeting encounters with them shows me that things have not changed much for them.  They still base much of themselves on a house of cards that threatens to collapse at any time.  They have very few enduring friendships, and still seem comfortable playing ‘fast and lose’ with the truth.

And their life, frankly, seems very sad.  Pathetic.

I realized that although I still experience a whole lot of difficulties in my life and my health much of the time seems still tenuous (Hello, knee replacement surgery), and I have very little obvious accomplishments or accolades;

I have much more of a grounded and whole life.

As vulnerable and unaccomplished as I am, I also know who I am; warts and all.  And that I was made exactly for this as uneventful as it mostly is.

And I wonder if that’s the ‘freedom’ that truth offers us all.

Truthfulness seems really elusive these days, doesn’t it.  We have lies played out on the news right in front of us constantly; and some of them sneak by our awareness without us even knowing.  Lies that make us fearful that we are losing power and prestige.  Lies that tell us that we are vulnerable and are going to be harmed unless we grab harder at power and oppress those around us who look weaker and therefore more easily defeated.  We see innocent people arrested for holding opinions and conveying these opinions to their friends.  We see citizens of other countries arbitrarily arrested even if their documentation is in order; simply because they are part of another culture and dress differently than we do.  Closer to home, we see our own government officials manipulating the law and standards for office, pleading that they believed that they were doing ‘the right thing’, even though they have access to the rules as much as any of us.

We have stopped valuing ‘truth’ in the face of ‘power’.

And now we have become captive to it.

But like the house built on shifting sand, this will collapse under itself.

Our call as Christians is to a place of truth.  A place of authenticity.  This is a personal truth as well as a corporate truth.  Our lives and our community need to begin with a sense of groundedness and wholeness, not on a quest for power or prestige.  For that matter, a community that is built on truth rather than on relevance or size.

Because that is freedom.  Freedom being exactly who we are.  No more.  The place where we abide – where we live – in God.

Blessings today my dear Bethel.  Remember you are Loved.  And Free.

~Rev. Lynne

PS:  Pic today is of Noodle, my dear dog.  Because no one embodies “I am who I am” more than Noodle.