Integrity:  a fundamental virtue characterized by adhering to ethical and moral principles consistently.  (The Helpful Professor)

Integrity is doing what you said you were going to do.  (Stephen Covey, the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People)

When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said,, “What is this dream you had?  Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?” His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind.” (Genesis 37: 10,11)

I have an acquaintance that stands me up on a regular basis.  So often, in fact, that I’m surprised when they actually show up to something I’ve invited them to.  I had to learn the hard way that this is their habit.  I’ve also had to really wrestle with myself in the process, because I get pretty mad when I’m stood up.  And I’m good at holding a grudge.  Really good, in fact.  So, every time this person stands me up, I’m stuck wrestling with myself for weeks because I know that I preach Grace all the time.  I preach Grace as a virtue.  And I’m terrible at it. 

When someone reminds me of that I’m terrible at Grace, I can get pretty cranky.  After all – it’s the integrity of this acquaintance, not me that’s the problem, right!  Oh yeah….there’s that whole log and speck story, eh.  Sorry I couldn’t see you through that log in my eye.

Sigh.

I’ve been thinking a lot about integrity this week, and our call as Christians to be people of integrity.  I have many people around me that are very stressed for many reasons, and they’ve responded out of this stress.  Sometimes with hostility.  Sometimes with demands and entitlement.  Sometimes by simply refusing to communicate.  These are hard things to manage.  And frankly – sometimes I’ve managed well, and sometimes I haven’t. 

I was speaking with a wise friend and colleague about my responses and he reminded me of the story of Joseph telling his father and his brothers about his dreams that the ‘sheaves’ would bow down – the ‘sheaves’ representing his brothers and his father, Jacob.  The story reminds us that the jealousy of the brothers pretty much took over their responses, and this all eventually led them into selling Joseph into slavery. 

Joseph was enslaved by his brothers’ anger and jealousy.

And Jacob wasn’t impressed with Joseph’s dream, but instead of colluding with his other sons he “kept the matter in mind”.  He kept who Joseph actually was in mind, and it determined his relationship with his son later, when Joseph had become the second most influential person in Egypt. 

Because, the thing is, when we are who we say we are, when we do what we say we’re going to do, then that’s what people ‘keep in mind’ when they deal with us later.  And conversely, when we don’t do what we say we will do, and we aren’t who we say that we are, than that’s what people will ‘keep in mind’ when they deal with us later. 

Its not a call to perfection; but it is a call to live a life of Grace.

This morning I had a conversation with a close friend who was recounting a conflict that she’d had with someone the day before, and that she needed to apologize for part of the conflict.  “I tend to come down on things really strongly and harshly and I did in this circumstance” she said.  “I need to apologize for this because even though we worked through the issue, I could’ve been more invitational and relational in the process and it would’ve gone much better”. 

Now that’s integrity and Grace.

Not perfection – clearly.  But there will be a different “keeping in mind” in this circumstance.

Holiday times are tough times, my dear Bethel Friends and all of us will manage better if we consider what we are “keeping in mind” about others and what others are “keeping in mind” about us.  Because, at the end of the day, we aren’t called into a place of perfection but we are called to Grace.

Blessings today and remember you are Loved.

~Rev. Lynne