The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. (John 10:10)

During the integrity versus despair stage, people reflect back on the life they have lived and come away with either a sense of fulfillment from a life well lived or a sense of regret and despair over a life misspent.  (Erickson’s Stages of Development – the Aging Adult).

For the past month or so I’ve done a whole lot of funerals.  Its very sacred work and I’m always so honored to walk with families at this time of their lives.  I also have had the privilege of walking with people at the end of their lives – again this is a sacred time.   I have a vivid memory of sitting at someone’s bedside who had lived most of his adult life with an illness that required some very specific diet restrictions.  So, when he knew that his life was coming to an end, he asked me to bring him chocolate ice cream; something that he hadn’t had for about 60 years.   As I sat beside his bed, feeding him his chocolate ice cream, he spoke with great joy about the life he had lived and how fulfilling it was, even up to this point.  As he at his last few mouthfuls of the ice cream, he looked at me, smiled, and said

“At his last supper, the Lord Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it the and said, “This is my body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, he took the cup after supper and said, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this in remembrance of me.” For whenever we eat this bread and drink this cup, we proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes again.” 

I sat there, holding the ice cream spoon and dripping chocolate onto his blankets, with tears running down my face.  This is what Communion is.  A moment with friends, when the veil between life and death is torn and we can see eternity. 

And I knew beyond knowing that this is what Jesus meant when he spoke about ‘life abundantly’. 

I’ve also sat at besides that it was clear that this was a life that had been taken by the ‘thief’ spoken about in the John passage I quoted above.  Lives marked by bitterness and regret.  With harsh words spoken to people and a whole lot of anger and despair.  This is a tough thing to bear witness to at the end of someone’s earthly life.  And the harm is widespread and infects all of the community around them. 

And yet, there continue to be lives stolen from people.  Stolen because they have chosen to go down a route that has led to anger and despair rather than moving them to the place of hope and integrity.  Their lives aren’t stolen in one big flourish, but rather they allow it to be eaten away a little at a time.  Eaten away because, well, basically….a lack of gratitude.  I know that seems simplistic – but in my experience, the people who end their lives in integrity all seem to share the same feature; they are grateful for who they are and what God has given them.  They are grateful for the fullness of life they experienced and for the relationships they have and have nurtured. 

Its not that they’ve all lived charmed lives.  In fact, most of the people I know who exude gratitude, its been hard-won.  They’ve had to work to get themselves there – to get themselves away from the thief that is slowly killing them; to get themselves away from the destruction of anger, and envy and all of that stuff that steals gratitude from us.  And they’ve had to face their lives with humility and face their lives with honesty. 

But not regret. 

Honesty that is real, but not consuming.  Humility that is not martyrdom, but a true recognition of who you are in God’s eyes.  Integrity because of the recognition that you have abundance and grace at your fingertips.

Life in its abundance.  That’s what Jesus came for.  Amazing, eh.  So, the next time you’re eating chocolate ice cream I hope you’ll recall the words of our Communion liturgy and recognize that this is what we are being asked to Remember.  And that this is Life and life abundantly. 

Blessings today, and remember you are loved.

~Rev. Lynne